If you don’t love yourself, there’s a good chance you don’t feel loved by others. Well, you may not know it, and others may not know it, but everyone loves you.
Take a fresh look at your friends and family. Maybe they don’t love you the way you want them to love you or the way you need them to love you, but how they love you is not your choice.
Train your brain to scan for signs of love and affection and wishing you well. If you look for it, you’ll find it. Let that evidence accumulate and replace your doubts.
Everyone wants you to succeed. They want you to GLOW with happiness and joy and satisfaction. They want you to be loved deeply and quickly grow to your greatest potential.
Unfortunately, people are often blinded by fear. They believe in scarcity, that there’s not enough to go around. They worry about their own needs and wants and loneliness and forget to cheer you on.
But consider this: if they had everything they needed, in moments when their fears subsided, they would wish for your happiness. It’s human nature to love – and we would! All. The. Time. If it weren’t also human nature to fear. 🙁
So you see that deep down, in their true heart of hearts, everyone loves you and wants you to thrive, even if they don’t realize it yet. Give them time. Give them love. We can all get there together.
SLIDER
Where do you fall on the “You Are Loved” self love slider?
| 1: You hate yourself, and so does everyone else. You hurt yourself, and so does everyone else. You don’t even want to try to learn a new way, and nobody would believe it anyway, so why try? | 3: You despise yourself, a perspective learned by the cold, unloving world. Whenever you “try” to think a kind thought about yourself, you immediately skip to the excuses and list all the things wrong with you. It’s better to stay down rather than get back up only to get punched in the mouth again. | 5: You are highly aware of your faults and assume that they make you unlovable to most people, but a few other losers stand by your side, for now. You’re mostly blind to your strengths and redeeming qualities, and you discount those, perhaps wishing for external love to rescue you and make everything better. | 7: You like yourself. You assess your strengths and weaknesses fairly, and come out looking pretty good! Love is a scarce, competitive commodity, so it’s a good thing you’re a little better than some less fortunate people. | 10: OH, MY GOSH! You ADORE yourself and so does everybody else! As for all those people who don’t show their excitement about you, well, that doesn’t matter. Maybe they’re having a bad day. They just need more love! |
11. Going to extremes: some people who SEEM to believe that everyone loves them are only compensating for a deep sense of insecurity. They *try* to believe it, they do their best to act cheerful and confident, but their denial may prevent them from seeking real solutions and prolong their suffering and deep sense of loneliness.
FOR DISCUSSION
How would it feel to believe that everyone loves you? If you try on that thought for a while, might some of it stick permanently?
Why do people cling to negative feelings and expectations? Is it possible to cling to positive thoughts instead?
HOMEWORK
Observe your projections – in other words, notice how YOU THINK others think of you. Notice how aware you are of others and their acceptance or rejection of you.
Consciously choose your projections – as you walk down the street or through the office, imagine strangers, friends, and your boss thinking positive things about you. Notice how this changes the way you feel about yourself.
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