The first thing that love is is…a word, and the thing about words is that they mean whatever we say they mean. That’s how words work.
In this case, we’ve assigned a LOT of meanings to these four letters. No wonder it gets a bit confusing!
It’s kinda like the word “dog.” Everybody THINKS they know what it means, but the word elicits very different images in people’s minds.
Not only is there a LOT of variation between dogs in size, shape, color, and demeanor, but what happens when you see a reddish animal with a long, fluffy tail? Is that a fox or a dog? Or is a fox also a dog? And when a Great Dane walks up and it’s as tall as you – shouldn’t that be a horse?
Well, the word “love” is even more confusing that that.
This video explains a dozen distinct things we often call love, from “liking” a lot to sex to True Love. Watch and then decide which definitions are really love and which aren’t.
Once you more clearly understand the many definitions of love, you may find it easier to understand your own feelings, motivations and personal experience of love.
SLIDER
Where do you fall on the “Love is a Word” love slider?
| 1: Who cares? This website has nothing useful for me. | 3: Don’t confuse me with words! I mean, don’t clear up my confusion! I’d rather live with my illusions for as long as possible than grow up and face reality. | 5: I see your point, but I’m not 100% convinced. I like the thrill of romance better than the joy of true love. | 7: Sometimes I’m selfish or expect too much of my friends and romantic partners, but I’m learning to do better! | 10: True Love is my favorite motivation. Nothing makes me happier than seeing people (including myself) happy and growing. |
11. Going to extremes: now that you’re armed with some knowledge about love, don’t beat everyone over the head with it. Don’t expect that understanding these concepts should transform instantly into the ability to love perfectly. Growing up and learning to love takes time and practice, so be patient (which is one of the things love does so well!).
FOR DISCUSSION
- How “mature” is your love for various people? How much do you care about their well being and progress vs. hoping to get something for yourself from the relationship?
- How much do you enjoy investing yourself for others? What results do you notice from your love efforts?
HOMEWORK
- Rewatch your favorite romance movie, or listen to your favorite songs about love, and identify evidence of various love types or stages. What do the characters seem to understand or misunderstand about love?
- Practice some of the Love Abilities from LOVE 110 and observe your feelings. How good are you at experiencing love’s joy?
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