Have you ever wondered why love inspires such courage and "casteth out all fear"? Well, I'll tell you!
There are actually several good reasons. The first one is Focus.
It's like a surfer out to catch the perfect wave. Yes, there are sharks with three rows of razor-sharp teeth swimming around below the water's surface, but the surfer isn't thinking about them. Not very much, at least. Not enough to keep them on shore.
Because love's primary focus is “the active concern for the happiness, joy, well being, and spiritual growth of its beloved,” it's not thinking about all the things that could go wrong.
The second reason is security.
The only reason we have social fears is that the possibility of rejection and disconnection terrifies us. Therefore we struggle to prove that we're good enough to be loved and accepted.
But love INCLUDES acceptance. It's part of the package. Since disconnection is impossible with love, social fears quickly turn to vapor. You don't need to struggle anymore because you just transcended the entire battle!
Test it out for yourself! Next time you feel afraid or intimidated, focus on LOVING whoever's intimidating you. You will discover that this instantly places you in the power position because you have nothing to lose, only to give!
“Everything you are against weakens you. Everything you are for empowers you.” – Wayne Dyer
The third reason is that love brings power. It brings life. It makes you feel strong and capable and inspires you with the confidence to do whatever love aims to do. Courage is life unbridled.
When you love someone else, you can't avoid splashing some of that love back on yourself, and when you love yourself, it brings out all the best in you.
SLIDER
Where do you fall on the "Courage" love slider?
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| 1: I am totally paralyzed by fear and anxiety, but don't worry, I'll soon be dead of a heart attack and it will all be over. |
3: I'm not living my dreams because I'm too busy living my fears. I scrape by, but I wouldn't call it living! |
5: I guess I'm afraid of rejection because I spend most of my life trying to fit in and be accepted by blending in and not being noticed. |
7: Sure, public speaking and asking for a date or a raise freaks me out, but that doesn't mean I don't do it! |
10: I'm not afraid of anything. Life is made of pure, endless, gorgeous, exciting opportunity! |
11. Going to extremes: Some people appear courageous and confident but it's really only bluster, false bravado, and cockiness based on fear but PRETENDING not to be afraid.
FOR DISCUSSION
What frightens you? Are your fears based on possible rejection or being judged? How can love reduce your fears?
What would you do if you weren't afraid?
HOMEWORK
Do something (safe) that scares you. Every day. For the rest of your life! Until nothing scares you anymore.
Reimagine a past event that involved social anxiety. This time, imagine loving everyone and them loving you and feeling calm, confident and happy.
Ask yourself what you'd do if you weren't afraid. Do that.
