University of Life

We've heard it before but we barely understand how consistently love resolves all conflict and solves or improves all problems and circumstances. Ponder the following examples and ask yourself how you can apply love to improve your own life in ways you never considered: Who intimidates you? We feel intimidated when our insecurities get triggered.

• Do you ever wonder if you're good enough to be loved and accepted? If so, someone more skilled, attractive, funny, wealthy, popular, or [insert your particular insecurity here] may "make" you feel uncomfortable because it reminds you of your allegedly unlovable flaws.
• Do you ever feel like the world is unsafe? If so, someone overbearing may seem threatening and dangerous to you. Okay, some people really are threatening and dangerous, but most would never really want to hurt you, and 96% of the world wants you to succeed and be happy! (Deep down, the other 4% do, too.)

The solution? LOVE whoever you feel threatened by. Maybe they will respond with kindness, but that's not the guarantee. The promise is that your focus will change to something far more positive and healthy, and once that draws attention away from your vulnerabilities, they'll stop getting triggered and making you feel bad.

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

What do you want to do but are afraid to try? Once again, those insecurities trip us up, make us fear failure and ridicule or just the discomfort of stretching our comfort zones (read more about that here: UofLIFE.com/quotes-about-life/how-to-conquer-fear), and tell us it's best to just shut up and stay small.

• Who is that person you'd like to meet but don't dare approach?
• If you could choose any career, what would it be? What steps could you take today to begin opening doors of opportunity and make that career possible?
• What/where have you always wanted to do/go but have never done/gone?

The solution? Love yourself more! Loving yourself automatically makes you believe in yourself more fully and do what's good for you. The terror of change melts smoothly away and the brilliant world of opportunity (which, by the way, is the actual reality of the world!) dawns before your eyes. Loving yourself also helps you see that others want you to succeed, so support and encouragement appear magically out of nowhere! (Actually, it was there all along but you were blind to it.) Maybe you can't do everything yet, but you can begin, and that's good enough. Of course, learning to love yourself can be difficult - here's a whole post with some insights and instructions about that: UofLIFE.com/quotes-about-life/how-to-learn-to-love-yourself

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear." - 1 John 4:18

Once burned, twice shy. What makes you hesitant to love more? You may have learned, as most of us do, that love makes us vulnerable, and vulnerability means it's possible to get hurt.

• Just like touching a hot stove, loss hurts. If you loved someone and they left you, the memory of that pain can make your brain cry out in agony whenever you get near the possibility of love.
• Do you intentionally cling to any bitterness from past disappointments? Are you waiting for an apology before you let go, move on, and stop destroying your own life?

The grieving process is required for all losses, large and small. Give yourself permission and as much time as you need to 1. recognize any denial 2. express your anger safely 3. reason back and forth and 4. feel depressed until 5. you are able to mourn productively, release the pain, and accept the experience. Know that on the far side of grief, peace and renewed happiness await and life and love can turn out good. Yes, love, like water, is dangerous; but it's also wonderful and absolutely necessary for life (read more about that here: UofLIFE.com/quotes-about-life/afraid-of-love). If you're not ready to dive back in to love, that's okay, but at least take a sip or dip your toe.

"The only remedy for love is to love more." - Henry David Thoreau

These are just a few common examples, and dozens more exist. Take a moment RIGHT NOW and look around! Who can you love more? How will you show it? How will you feel when you do? Now get started. Go. Begin.