University of Life

"Mmmm," the vampire thinks to him/herself while looking over your glowing aura, "that much energy could sustain me for months!" Your happy smile slowly fades as dark clouds creep across the bright morning sky. You don't understand why you've begun feeling more down than usual lately. Nothing is actually wrong, nothing you can name; life should continue going great! But it's just...not, exactly. You feel more tired and less optimistic than usual. If only you could shake off this miasm, then you could get back to being your normal, cheerful, productive self. Some energy vampires are overt and obvious. They complain. They undermine every effort with negativity and pessimism. They criticize, blame, and argue. Such incessant actions create a heavy iron anchor that you must drag behind you if you can't avoid them. "See?" they ask as you grow weary and irritable from carrying their load, "didn't I tell you how awful the world is?" Many vampires have inferiority complexes and either accept it as truth - which turns them into helpless victims; or overcompensate by denying their subconscious sense of inadequacy and pretending to be confident and cocky playboys, unrealistically cheerful-yet-wounded Pollyannas, prima donnas, arrogant, superior jerks, and many other variations. They practically demand that you play along with their disguises, which makes it next to impossible to truly relax and act as your own authentic self. Other vampires are more subtle and artful. They pretend to help and outwardly act supportive and loving, intelligent and gifted, but something about them kills you inside all the same. If you could visualize it, you might see a snake-like hose with sharp teeth that bites deeply into your heart or spine and endlessly siphons liquid energy from your soul. Their lives are challenging and you want to help get them back on their feet, but years pass and you eventually wear yourself out when they won't take responsibility for standing up and learning to walk on their own. They would rather collapse and continue draining your energy, though you have absolutely no idea how they accomplish it and why being around them twists your stomach in knots. This type of energy vampire doesn't understand what they're doing any better than you. They have subconsciously fallen for the lie that draining others' energy is easier than generating their own. They think that makes them powerful, but others' energy is never enough. It never fills them up and sustains them, never brings them back to life. They have become undead, addicted to false power. They never find lasting peace, yet don't know how to quit robbing others of life and choose a better path. Lucky for you, a little-known secret can effectively repel these mysteriously draining energy connections and protect yourself from their influence, and it has nothing to do with wearing garlic around your neck. The secret is that energy vampires prefer to drink negative energy, because that matches their comfort zone. They THINK they want your cheerfulness, and that may attract them at first, but it soon tastes too sweet, so they must abandon or poison your happiness before it can transform them. They BELIEVE they want to be alive like you; but their inherent laziness, their fear of effort, would rather consume your life than generate their own. They're like child-porn addicts who crave a sense of youth and innocence, yet destroy it each time they momentarily recapture an impression of it. Life can only originate inside oneself; stealing it from anyone else kills it every time. If you're ready to try to repulse an energy vampire, then it's important that you do it right! You MUST honestly love yourself. If you try to love others without loving yourself thoroughly, then you become an easy target as you feel conflicted about withholding your love from these needy victims. In fact, your loving, sensitive nature probably attracted their attention in the first place. It's high time you upgrade it so it will protect and bless you and not just others. If you truly love yourself, you will recognize that your first obligation lies in respecting healthy boundaries. You will see that falling prey to their insatiable, destructive games serves no one in the long run, and you will feel no remorse in refusing to play along. You will know better than to continue being an enabler of the ephemeral benefits of such unhealthy, one-sided relationships. When they throw their fits, ignore them or treat them as the manipulative childish tantrums that they are. No matter how hard they try, you don't let their antics upset you. You remain upbeat, loving, happy and positive. Get comfortable in your positiveness, because this could take a while, but that's okay because you just got free tuition to one of the best positive-attitude training programs on earth! 🙂 When they beg for your ongoing support and sympathy with those poor, sad, puppy dog eyes, suggest that they climb aboard your positive attitude instead. Or turn the tables by asking them to support someone else instead; it would be good for them to act alive and capable. A fun fact about manipulation is that it can be neutralized by playing the ruse backward. The manipulator must desist or comply to avoid destroying the appearance of reasonableness. You may find it useful to be prepared with some phrases to put the responsibility for their actions back in their court. Read over this list and see which ones may apply to your situation (and please share more ideas in the comments sections below!): "Where are your manners?" "I don't see things that way." "Let us know when you're ready to join the grown ups again." "I'd love to help if you'll do your part. If you're not trying, then I don't want to be an enabler." "I'm sorry, but I find something about this situation really draining, so I'm going to go work on something else for a while. If you'll get to work on it, maybe I'll pitch in again later." Stand firm! They need this from you as much as you need it for yourself. I wish I felt more optimistic about reforming energy vampires. I just haven't seen a lot of success, probably because they most often have no interest in change, and it's nearly impossible to change someone who doesn't want to. Maybe the best we can do is stop accommodating them so they'll have to find a new way to relate to us if they want us around. It takes two to tango, and only the most subtle vampires can drain you if you refuse to play along. Good luck and please share your insights and experiences in the comments sections below!