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Love Barrier Types
If you don’t love more (and, by definition, you don’t), it’s probably due to one (or two) of two things: ignorance or fear. Ignorance You just don’t know better. If you did, you’d probably rise to that level. That’s why people claim that “everyone is doing the best they know how.” On one hand, this barrier can be solved by simply providing information. That’s why we provide so many insightful explanations on this site, and will continue adding dozens more as we go along. On the other hand, conscious understanding is far less important than deep, emotional, experiential comprehension. That’s why we provide Sliders, For Discussion topics, and Homework –…
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Second-Hand Love
To learn to love more, knowledge and explanations are not enough. You must experience love for yourself. That’s why most articles on this site include For Discussion and Homework assignments. I can point the way, and you must walk the path. If you don’t have (or don’t think you have) people to practice love on, you can start by observing other loving people and learn from that. Eventually, you’ll realize that you’re surrounded by people to practice love on. The trick is to see love everywhere, because that’s where it’s found. It may not look like your limited concept of love or what you expected or wanted it to be.…
- LOVE 201: How to Love, LOVE 301: Love Yourself, LOVE 501: Love Myths & Barriers, The University of Love
Learned Limits
On one hand, love is an absolute. It is what it is, and it’s powerful, abundant, and infinite. On the other hand, our experience of love is limited to our understanding of it – both conscious and subconscious. Consciously, we observe how others love and assume that where they stop – where love capitulates to selfishness and fear – is the correct amount of love. Anything more or less would violate societal norms and call attention to ourselves. Then we would be judged, and that can be frightening. Subconsciously, our ability to love is constrained by the unconditional and conditional love we received from our parents or other authority figures…
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The Burden of Love
One reason we don’t choose to love more is that we’re afraid that love will be a burden. We’re afraid that love means we have to listen patiently to the most annoying people on earth and do whatever they ask for when they need a favor. Well, that’s not exactly true. To correct this myth, let’s examine one of the world’s most famous examples of love and its burden – Santa Claus himself! As legend has it, Santa and his elves spend the year making gifts for all the good little boys and girls; and on Christmas Eve, his reindeer carry him ’round the world to deliver the gifts. How…
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Romantic Love Counterfeits
Romantic love is one of the most powerful forces on earth, and because it’s also quite complex and confusing, several common styles of counterfeits exist. First, let’s review the Top Three reasons why we’re collectively so confused about romantic love: People don’t understand their emotions. They’re like a foreign language that most people only speak a few words of: happy, sad, angry, frustrated, etc. When a complex, nuanced emotion like romantic love comes along, they feel it but don’t begin to understand what it’s saying. People didn’t have good examples to learn from, and therefore they haven’t fully matured, and this affects their actions, needs, and expectations in a relationship.…
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The Ego Police
Society teaches us that it’s wrong to love yourself, and we often believe it. They call it selfish, egotistical, arrogant, pride, cockiness, narcissism, and being full of yourself. “Well,” they declare with an eyebrow raised judgmentally, “SOMEbody certainly thinks highly of him/herself!” People who say this are members of the Ego Police. How I despise them! (Or despise what they say, rather.) They’re out to beat anyone down who begins to crawl free from the cesspool of self hatred and unhappiness. The Ego Police are closely related to the Fashion Police, who associate your self worth with whatever clothes you’re wearing. Most Ego Police don’t do it on purpose. They…
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