Psychology – University of Life

Pain is a Problem (and your brain loves problems)

July 30, 2016July 30, 2016
by Shaun Roundy

Today’s podcast discusses the ups, downs, and outs of the problem of pain. Without problems to solve, life would get dull fairly quickly, but when you don’t know to address problems productively, then all you get from them is stress, anxiety, and depression. Adding one more secret ingredient changes everything, so listen up and find out what it is!

With practice, you’ll develop the one character trait that makes life easier and more enjoyable, despite challenges.

Ambition

Pivotal Moments: Confidence

April 28, 2015April 29, 2015
by Shaun Roundy

blondeprofilewind What moments have changed your life’s direction, for better or worse? What events shaped your future and turned you into the person you are now? Have you ever created major changes in life without some external impetus to force your hand?

What if you could change anything about your life right now? What would you change? Think it over!

One of the most important traits you can develop is confidence. It makes you more attractive. It gives you the courage to live your dreams. It smooths out dozens of small bumps in the road of life and helps you progress much faster toward your inherent potential.

With that in mind, here are a few stories of confidence-related pivotal moments to help you process the concept. PLEASE SHARE your own pivotal moments in the comments sections below! Everyone would love to hear and learn from them.

A Scout is…Confident?

I went to scout camp the summer before 9th grade, and sitting around the fire one afternoon, Coy started spitting watermelon seeds at me as he ate. Coy was one of the “cool” kids and I was not. After several seeds, something in me snapped – something small at first, then bigger. “If you spit one more seed at me,” I warned, “I’ll beat the crap out of you.” Coy calmly took another bite of melon, chewed, then spit a seed at me. Read more “Pivotal Moments: Confidence” →

Emotions

Are You Really In Love?

April 28, 2015April 29, 2015
by Shaun Roundy

Spring is in the air, and with it, people all around you are falling in love – including yourself.

Lucky you! Congratulations! The ecstatic bliss you now feel is the most joyous experience you’ve ever known. The sun shines brighter, birds sing more sweetly, and you’re about to live happily ever after!

But hold on for just a second – because you just realized how utterly sappy all that sounds to everybody else who’s not in love, and how much you sound like a Disney princess, which you know – or at least you used to know – is not exactly realistic.

So which is it? Are you in love or aren’t you? Will you live happily ever after or are you setting yourself up for heart break? Does True Love exist or is it only an appealing myth? You’d like to know for certain so you can plan accordingly.

Okay, great, let’s find out! Read more “Are You Really In Love?” →

Confidence

Heal Your Mind

October 8, 2014September 14, 2015
by Shaun Roundy

UPDATE: the book is finished and you can find it here: Heal Your Emotions

I’ve been working on writing my next book, which will be one of the best and most important things I’ve ever created. It’s (tentatively) called Basic Intuitive Energy Healing ::: Heal Your Mind ::: A Scientific Approach to Speaking your Brains’ Languages and Turning Pain into Power and it includes over 50 simple yet highly effective healing techniques that you can use on yourself (or if you’re already a skilled energy healer, you can apply them to others for good effect).

I’ve been wanting to write it for about ten years, but the time wasn’t right until now. In hindsight, the reason is obvious – I thought I knew a lot ten years ago, and I did, but I’ve learned so much just in the past year that the book will now be far more complete and useful than it would have been then.

Here’s the introductory story which gives a general idea of what the book is about, and stay tuned as I reveal more details soon!

Once upon a time, you found yourself wandering through a deep, dark woods. You didn’t know exactly where you were headed, but hurried along the path just the same, hoping to escape the unpleasant shadows and the too-cool breeze that made you wrap your arms tightly around yourself and shiver.
Out from the darkness came distant, unpleasant voices in faint, scarcely-audible whispers. “You’re not good enough,” they said, “why even try? You’re a fool if you think you’ll ever be happy again!”
“Nobody loves you,” others murmured. “You’re all alone. You’ll always be alone.”
You pretended to ignore the voices as you hurried along, but deep inside, you knew they were right. Read more “Heal Your Mind” →

Balance

Depression is Simple

April 16, 2014April 17, 2014
by Shaun Roundy

Here’s the simplest & most helpful explanation of depression you’ll ever read:

Depression happens when life tips too far away from the light for too long, and your heart and mind take a partial vacation.

Depression is a safety valve, like when you turn on too many appliances in your home and blow a fuse. If your system didn’t partially shut down, your overloaded circuits would have experienced a worse melt down later on. Read more “Depression is Simple” →

Depression

Thinking Distortions

April 10, 2014April 16, 2014
by Shaun Roundy

seeclearly If you ever find yourself feeling frustrated that things aren’t working out better or suffer from any degree of anxiety, depression, or low self esteem, then there’s a strong chance it has something to do with Cognitive Distortions. If you’ve never heard of these pesky bad habits, then you’ve been missing out on a huge opportunity to make your life better and easier!

To be concise, thinking distortions are ways we sometimes think that – when you actually think about them – make no sense and often destroy your mood, motivation, and chance at living a happy, successful life.

Read through the list below and see which patterns you recognize in your life. Sometimes merely recognizing irrational thoughts when they happen provides enough clarity for you to stop thinking that way.

In case that’s not enough, we’ll also provide examples of more accurate, balanced perspectives. Get in the habit of correcting your own thinking distortions each time you catch yourself making one. It may seem difficult at first, but turns easy as soon as you create some new neural pathways in your brain.

If you want even more help to correct your thought habits, then order The Feeling Good Handbook, by Dr. David Burns, who pioneered this topic. He provides a helpful worksheet where you:
1. Write down your thought/perception.
2. Write how much you believe that thought (for example, 85%).
3. Identify which of the following thinking distortions apply.
4. Write how much you believe the thought *now* (for example, 15%).
This is a surprisingly effective exercise. You can usually buy the book for a few dollars on Amazon.

All-or-nothing thinking: seeing things in black or white as opposed to shades of gray; thinking in terms of false dilemmas and false dichotomies. Often involves using terms like “always”, “every” or “never” when this is not true.
Example: when an admired person makes a minor mistake, the admiration is turned into contempt.
Reconsider: does that sound realistic? Maybe you saw one example where that seemed to happen, but did all the admiration vanish? What about all the others who make mistakes and are not despised? Look around and gather more evidence.
Correction: we all make mistakes (haha, there’s a harmless all-or-nothing thought that empowers instead of disempowering!) and just because I made one today doesn’t mean I didn’t do a lot of other things well and come out ahead for the day! I’m a fabulous person! Read more “Thinking Distortions” →

Balance

Podcast: The 4 Standards

April 9, 2014April 12, 2014
by Shaun Roundy

Here’s a new podcast introducing The 4 Standards and how to balance your life in 30 seconds per day:

Prefer audio only? Here ya go:

Confidence

How to Learn to Love Yourself

December 21, 2013December 21, 2013
by Shaun Roundy

“Life is kinder to those who love themselves, because love attracts love and light, and repels and dissolves darkness.” – Shaun Roundy

Admit it – if you really, really loved yourself, you’d be happier. You’d have more abundance of all kinds in your life: friends, fun, wealth, health, and overall satisfaction. You’d even grow less attached to material things and all external circumstances, because your primary stability and satisfaction would happen on the inside where outside factors can’t touch it. This is the way life is meant to be lived.

But wanting to love yourself thoroughly doesn’t automatically make it happen does it? The fact is: life is hard and our society teaches self-loathing far more effectively than self love. Let’s take a quick look at why. Read more “How to Learn to Love Yourself” →

Ambition

The Most Important Words in the English Language: “I…

November 21, 2013November 23, 2013
by Shaun Roundy

When I was 5 years old, I went to a church Halloween party dressed as a little devil. I wore a red mask, a black cape, carried a red plastic trident, and the only thing I now recall about the party is the Box Maze.

In hindsight, I see that the mistake I made inside that row of cardboard boxes taped together into a long, dark tunnel was the same costly mistake I have repeated all my life. This mistake has been the cause of inexpressible sadness, frustration, confusion, loneliness and failure after failure.

I’ll tell you what that mistake was and I’ll bet it’s the same one you’ve been making all your life and the primary source of your own sorrows. Unfortunately, telling you won’t solve your problems, but it will give you a place to begin.

All those decades ago, I got down on my hands and knees, and clutching my fiery trident in one fist, entered the maze. Everything turned pitch black but I crawled and scuffled bravely forward anyway. Read more “The Most Important Words in the English Language: “I was wrong.”” →

Happiness

Are You a Robot?

November 16, 2013November 16, 2013
by Shaun Roundy

Last night I dreamt about being in a medieval-like land with a queen (played by my last girlfriend) and a bad guy with a big sword. If it had been a movie, it would have ended very quickly, because when the queen and I rode up to the bad guy, I shot him (just like Indiana Jones) and the conflict ended.

But then I realized that the bad guy was a robot, and it turns out he wasn’t quite dead. And all that stuff about being bad? He was just running his program. Once I pointed out that he had choice, he proved very willing and able to organize and move things in a very positive, healthy direction. He shoved his sword down through the earth and and steered the world as if it had an engine and the hilt were a steering wheel.

Please, let’s not get all Freudian now. The important question is – are YOU a robot? Are you just running your program – going from day to day doing whatever you do because that’s the way things have always been done and you feel like it and have never considered doing things differently?

If so, then integrate this new line of code: <bold> YOU HAVE CHOICE </bold>. Read more “Are You a Robot?” →

Happiness

Change Your Story Today

November 14, 2013November 14, 2013
by Shaun Roundy

Do you ever wish your life would change? That you would be happier or more popular or richer or less alone, etc.? Well…it can…and it’s all up to you, and it’s surprisingly simple to do.

“All the world’s a stage, and we are merely players.”

What if your life really WAS a play – would we be watching a comedy, tragedy, or just repeating history (Yours? Your family’s? Your nationality’s?) over and over like a broken record? What part would you be playing? The hero, a fool, the lover, a villain, or what?

Are you the protagonist – do you know what you want and face the challenges to get it, or are you just a minor character in your own story, and/or are you also the antagonist at the same time, all wrapped up into one, undermining all your efforts while trying in vain to get what you want?

And now for the important question – do you like your story? If not (or even if so), how would you like it to change?

Let’s get this out of the way: plays can be edited and revised. You CAN change your story by changing your character, and you can begin immediately. Read more “Change Your Story Today” →

Courage

How to Conquer Fear

October 11, 2013October 14, 2013
by Shaun Roundy

Sometimes fear is your friend, because it saves you from jumping off high places and getting hurt.

Usually fear is your enemy, because 99% of the things you’re afraid of are not even dangerous. They’re merely uncomfortable.

For most people, fear is the main impediment to happiness, success and self actualization. Lucky for you, there are multiple ways to get past fear, and they all fall into these two categories:

Ignore your fears
Transcend your fears

We’ll provide a quick overview of each approach here. Read more “How to Conquer Fear” →

Category: Psychology

A Scout is…Confident?

“All the world’s a stage, and we are merely players.”