If you give this a try, I’d love to hear about your experience in the comments sections below!
How would you like to be a happier, more confident person and a better friend and family member? This post contains a few chapters from the 99¢ ebook “How to See Yourself and Others” which reveals the easiest and most effective way to make your life and connections far, far closer and more rewarding than you can probably now imagine.
Once upon a time, seven billion people woke up, went to work and school and play, walking and running and driving, sitting, standing, buying, selling, eating, talking, bumping into one another, hugging, kissing, laughing and crying…and no one saw them.
They sort of saw each other. They saw their bodies and expressions, their clothes and hairstyles, their cars, homes, titles and activities.
But no one saw their souls. No one saw who they really are.
“It’s okay,” one of them said, “I didn’t want to be seen anyway. If people knew who I really am, they might not like me.”
“I’m lonely,” admitted another. “I wish someone understood and loved me for who I am.”
“Who am I?” asked a third, “and what am I doing here? How can I find out?”
The seven billion people went to sleep, then woke up and did it all over again the next day. Read more “How to See Yourself”
“Mmmm,” the vampire thinks to him/herself while looking over your glowing aura, “that much energy could sustain me for months!”
Your happy smile slowly fades as dark clouds creep across the bright morning sky. You don’t understand why you’ve begun feeling more down than usual lately. Nothing is actually wrong, nothing you can name; life should continue going great! But it’s just…not, exactly. You feel more tired and less optimistic than usual. If only you could shake off this miasm, then you could get back to being your normal, cheerful, productive self.
Some energy vampires are overt and obvious. They complain. They undermine every effort with negativity and pessimism. They criticize, blame, and argue. Such incessant actions create a heavy iron anchor that you must drag behind you if you can’t avoid them. “See?” they ask as you grow weary and irritable from carrying their load, “didn’t I tell you how awful the world is?” Read more “How to Repulse Energy Vampires”
If you ever find yourself feeling frustrated that things aren’t working out better or suffer from any degree of anxiety, depression, or low self esteem, then there’s a strong chance it has something to do with Cognitive Distortions. If you’ve never heard of these pesky bad habits, then you’ve been missing out on a huge opportunity to make your life better and easier!
To be concise, thinking distortions are ways we sometimes think that – when you actually think about them – make no sense and often destroy your mood, motivation, and chance at living a happy, successful life.
Read through the list below and see which patterns you recognize in your life. Sometimes merely recognizing irrational thoughts when they happen provides enough clarity for you to stop thinking that way.
In case that’s not enough, we’ll also provide examples of more accurate, balanced perspectives. Get in the habit of correcting your own thinking distortions each time you catch yourself making one. It may seem difficult at first, but turns easy as soon as you create some new neural pathways in your brain.
If you want even more help to correct your thought habits, then order The Feeling Good Handbook, by Dr. David Burns, who pioneered this topic. He provides a helpful worksheet where you:
1. Write down your thought/perception.
2. Write how much you believe that thought (for example, 85%).
3. Identify which of the following thinking distortions apply.
4. Write how much you believe the thought *now* (for example, 15%).
This is a surprisingly effective exercise. You can usually buy the book for a few dollars on Amazon.
- All-or-nothing thinking: seeing things in black or white as opposed to shades of gray; thinking in terms of false dilemmas and false dichotomies. Often involves using terms like “always”, “every” or “never” when this is not true.
Example: when an admired person makes a minor mistake, the admiration is turned into contempt.
Reconsider: does that sound realistic? Maybe you saw one example where that seemed to happen, but did all the admiration vanish? What about all the others who make mistakes and are not despised? Look around and gather more evidence.
Correction: we all make mistakes (haha, there’s a harmless all-or-nothing thought that empowers instead of disempowering!) and just because I made one today doesn’t mean I didn’t do a lot of other things well and come out ahead for the day! I’m a fabulous person! Read more “Thinking Distortions”
We’d love to make a habit of creating thought-provoking podcasts like this, so if you enjoy it or find it helpful, please say so in one of the comment sections below! Thanks! Your feedback matters!
A big thanks to Marilee, Kirsten, Chris, Preston, Emily, Tiffany and Jeri! You made it great.
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It’s that time of year again! Time to pretend that next year will turn out different than all the other years before it. “This year,” we promise ourselves, we’ll stick to our resolutions, get in shape, stop smoking, get that new job…and then, we know – we just KNOW it, then we will be happy. Then life will be good.
Well? It’s true! You will be happier and life will be better. Or rather, life would be better if you actually kept working at your goals.
Sorry to tell you the bad news, but the other part is probably not true – you will not keep your resolutions this year any better than you ever have before. Next year will end up pretty much like this one except that we’ll all be another year older.
Unless you learn one little tiny lesson that changes everything. Read more “The Secret to Keeping your New Year’s Resolutions”
“Life is kinder to those who love themselves, because love attracts love and light, and repels and dissolves darkness.” – Shaun Roundy
Admit it – if you really, really loved yourself, you’d be happier. You’d have more abundance of all kinds in your life: friends, fun, wealth, health, and overall satisfaction. You’d even grow less attached to material things and all external circumstances, because your primary stability and satisfaction would happen on the inside where outside factors can’t touch it. This is the way life is meant to be lived.
But wanting to love yourself thoroughly doesn’t automatically make it happen does it? The fact is: life is hard and our society teaches self-loathing far more effectively than self love. Let’s take a quick look at why. Read more “How to Learn to Love Yourself”
When I was 5 years old, I went to a church Halloween party dressed as a little devil. I wore a red mask, a black cape, carried a red plastic trident, and the only thing I now recall about the party is the Box Maze.
In hindsight, I see that the mistake I made inside that row of cardboard boxes taped together into a long, dark tunnel was the same costly mistake I have repeated all my life. This mistake has been the cause of inexpressible sadness, frustration, confusion, loneliness and failure after failure.
I’ll tell you what that mistake was and I’ll bet it’s the same one you’ve been making all your life and the primary source of your own sorrows. Unfortunately, telling you won’t solve your problems, but it will give you a place to begin.
All those decades ago, I got down on my hands and knees, and clutching my fiery trident in one fist, entered the maze. Everything turned pitch black but I crawled and scuffled bravely forward anyway. Read more “The Most Important Words in the English Language: “I was wrong.””
Last night I dreamt about being in a medieval-like land with a queen (played by my last girlfriend) and a bad guy with a big sword. If it had been a movie, it would have ended very quickly, because when the queen and I rode up to the bad guy, I shot him (just like Indiana Jones) and the conflict ended.
But then I realized that the bad guy was a robot, and it turns out he wasn’t quite dead. And all that stuff about being bad? He was just running his program. Once I pointed out that he had choice, he proved very willing and able to organize and move things in a very positive, healthy direction. He shoved his sword down through the earth and and steered the world as if it had an engine and the hilt were a steering wheel.
Please, let’s not get all Freudian now. The important question is – are YOU a robot? Are you just running your program – going from day to day doing whatever you do because that’s the way things have always been done and you feel like it and have never considered doing things differently?
If so, then integrate this new line of code: <bold> YOU HAVE CHOICE </bold>. Read more “Are You a Robot?”
Do you ever wish your life would change? That you would be happier or more popular or richer or less alone, etc.? Well…it can…and it’s all up to you, and it’s surprisingly simple to do.
“All the world’s a stage, and we are merely players.”
What if your life really WAS a play – would we be watching a comedy, tragedy, or just repeating history (Yours? Your family’s? Your nationality’s?) over and over like a broken record? What part would you be playing? The hero, a fool, the lover, a villain, or what?
Are you the protagonist – do you know what you want and face the challenges to get it, or are you just a minor character in your own story, and/or are you also the antagonist at the same time, all wrapped up into one, undermining all your efforts while trying in vain to get what you want?
And now for the important question – do you like your story? If not (or even if so), how would you like it to change?
Let’s get this out of the way: plays can be edited and revised. You CAN change your story by changing your character, and you can begin immediately. Read more “Change Your Story Today”
Sometimes fear is your friend, because it saves you from jumping off high places and getting hurt.
Usually fear is your enemy, because 99% of the things you’re afraid of are not even dangerous. They’re merely uncomfortable.
For most people, fear is the main impediment to happiness, success and self actualization. Lucky for you, there are multiple ways to get past fear, and they all fall into these two categories:
- Ignore your fears
- Transcend your fears
We’ll provide a quick overview of each approach here. Read more “How to Conquer Fear”